Unquote Quotes

Said a participant. One woman was heard to say. A bystander opined.

Whenever a quote in an article is preceded by one of these phrases, the journalist has made it up. It is easy for a journalist to justify. They are using a device to sum up a mood that actually existed. It's the kind of thing someone might have said. Probably did say. When you think about it, it's almost not really a lie at all.

Well, it is a lie. Instead of expending the minimal effort it would take to squeeze some entertainment out of genuine passers-by, the journalist sneaks in some pre-packaged gags.

It's never very convincing, but it is good to see it fail openly. Here is the effort of Quentin Letts in the Daily Mail today. He is deploring Bono's appearance at the Tory conference.

From the seats of Tory activists, meanwhile, there wafted an air of widespread indifference, if not bafflement. Who was this scruffy little man? What was his name again? Mr Bonio?

Did someone really say "Mr Bonio"? Nope. Letts is palming off a tired joke, a decades-old ex-zinger that all the italics in the world won't resuscitate. And he enjoys it so much he goes on:

Some of the more ancient ones plainly hadn't a clue as to who he was. And they wondered why he was not wearing a tie.

Ah, that fatal misstep. Deep in character as the harrumphing Tory cliche, Letts has floated free of the world.  Here is one of the pictures that accompanies the article. A helpful editor, obviously no fan of Letts, has placed it as close as possible to the tie reference. For what is that around Bono's neck? Oh yes. It's a tie. Magnified a hundred times on a big shiny screen.

Underneath the screen, lost in giggles, Quentin Letts is knocking the crust off an old joke.

"What a hapless tool," one blogger was heard to say.